I do not know if anyone more than I appreciated the safe space in life. From an early age, I lived in a fictitious world, the world of my imagination. When other children played with each other in the playground, I separated myself and created a safe space in my head, an entirely different world in which I exist almost as much time as in the real world.
When in the primary school we moved with the family to a new home, I quickly got to the attic. I cleaned up all the lumber that lived there and created my first real safe space. To get to me, the family had to overcome many stairs, so hardly anyone appeared there. In the gate to the attic, in the staircase, I drew huge paintings that expressed me. On the main wall at the entrance, I drew a plant growing high with the eye instead of the inflorescence. Under the drawing, I wrote: “Look at the world from a different point of view.”
In this room, I was discovering spirituality, and I was hiding my first books, I talked with God and Angels. I experienced the first love, and I built friendships.
I lived like that for several years, but even the safe space in the family home became too small for my soul at some point. I could not find myself in being an obedient daughter. My parents gave me a lot of freedom anyway, but I needed more. When I was 15, I got to Krakow, 60 km from Oświęcim – my hometown. Then I unconsciously began to release my family ties. I lived in a boarding school for girls and came home only on weekends. It was a real mixing of energy, very necessary at that moment to be reflected in my roommates like in mirrors. We lived in five in one room, each of us had a strong personality, and none of us interfered in the life of another.
After finishing high school I found a school in Warsaw, not knowing the city, nor having any person close to me, I went to the capital. I lived in student apartments, and it was another dose of freedom. Too far from the family to go on weekends, without old friends. Everything was new and free. I had a great room where I could develop my occult interests. It seemed to be my path then, now I know it was just a staircase to see that the world is much more mysterious. I grew bigger and more open to my gifts – intuition, imagination, a feeling of energy. I met the shamans, talked to ghosts, meditated.
In retrospect, I see how important it was in this life. Everywhere I went, I broke away from the bond. More and more. I grew up alone, which was the greatest gift for me. Later I wanted to be close, stable, fell in love and closed in a space of my husband for several years. There was no old me, I stopped dreaming, I stopped talking with Angels. In the husband’s apartment, everything was his and on his terms. Even if I smuggled something, it was a compromise and it was not really mine. Stuck. I felt bad, I slowly disappeared, but it seemed to me that if I love someone, it is so necessary. I accepted hundreds of compromises, I entered my husband’s energy completely, I stopped leaving the house, meeting people. It was a strange time to lose myself. One day, broken and destroyed by endless quarrels, I sat on the couch and floated away into my world of imagination. The world of safe space from childhood. It was so easy for me and so forgotten. I felt like I found the way to myself in an instant. In my safe space I was still there. I WERE, regardless of the circumstances and who I became as a wife, I was still intact there. It changed everything.
I remember how I breathed the fresh air when my husband was already showing me a flat for renovation in which I could live until I sorted out the divorce. I saw ragged walls illuminated by the sun. I saw my new safe space, and it shone a thousand potentials for me. I did not see the broken walls, and I saw the furniture, the beds, my son’s colorful room, but the most beautiful was the luminous road leading straight to itself, to self-development, to awakening consciousness.
A safe space is invaluable for a human who wants to open himself. It is the opening of the gate.
If we want to feel the true self, experience the master who lives inside of us, we must separate ourselves from the energy of others. Go to the forest, live alone, create from scratch your safe space, so that in the womb you can grow without turbulence. This time, however, having only oneself and taking only what is ours.
When we create a world around us on our terms or find a place where we feel at home, we naturally start to open.
For the first time, we open ourselves completely. Nobody bothers us, so we grow, and fly to our mastery.